3 Responses to Avoid Giving In to Financial Peer Pressure
Let’s face it. Being in relationship with others, whether family or friends, doesn’t technically have to cost money. But the truth is that often, spending time with others does also mean spending money. That, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. But if you’re someone who budgets (or plans to start soon), things can get tricky when you run into financial peer pressure. (If you’re not sure what I mean by budgeting, you can click here to read my blog post all about what budgeting is.)
So, let’s talk about what financial peer pressure is as well as some practical responses to avoid giving in to it.
What is financial peer pressure?
Technically, financial peer pressure would be any situation where you’re spending money, in ways you’re not fully comfortable with, as a result of other people’s influences. This can look a lot of different ways.
It could be you buying something because you feel pressured to “keep up with the Joneses” and impress others.
It could be that a friend or family member is asking you to help them out financially. Maybe the amount they’re asking for feels excessive to you, or it’s a matter of how often they ask you for money. And, either way, you’re giving it to them because you feel pressured to do it, so they don’t get upset or think you don’t care about them.
Financial peer pressure can even include things like friends wanting to make plans with you that will cost more than you’re comfortable with. But you go along with it because you don’t know how to say “no.”
Sometimes financial peer pressure involves friends or family intentionally applying pressure. Other times, it’s about the pressure you feel to meet their expectations, even if they aren’t explicitly forcing your hand.
How can you avoid giving in to financial peer pressure?
One reason we allow ourselves to feel pressure is because we place so much weight on what other people think of us. We worry about what assumptions others will make about us when we choose not to spend our money in certain ways.
But I also think we allow ourselves to feel financial peer pressure because talking about money is taboo for so many of us. I say, let’s normalize talking about finances. That doesn’t mean we need to randomly announce to the cashier how much we make as he or she hands us our change. Or that we have to ask all the engaged couples we know, “How much did the ring cost?” I’m just saying it shouldn’t be weird to mention things like having a budget or choosing not to spend your money in certain ways.
With that in mind, let’s focus on what we can say in situations where others are asking us to spend our money in ways we’re not comfortable with. If you already have a response or two tucked away in your back pocket, ready for use, it might make the conversation a little less awkward (no stammering over your words or sudden long pauses in your text convo while you try to figure out what to say). And, hopefully, it’ll help you to decline in a way that you can feel confident about.
Response #1: “It’s not in the budget.”
If your friends want to try out that new restaurant, hit ‘em with, “I’d love to, but it’s not in the budget. I’ll catch you guys next time.” And depending on the situation, you may even have the flexibility and the sway to suggest something like, “I’d love to, but it’s not in the budget. Can we make plans to go next month instead?”
Some of us still feel a little self-conscious saying something’s not in the budget. I know I used to worry that if I said, “It’s not in the budget,” what people would hear was, “I’m broke.”
I’ve since shifted my mindset because, regardless of what the other person thinks, I know that being on a budget does not mean I have no money. It means I have a set plan for my money.
But if you’re someone who just isn’t comfortable with saying, “It’s not in the budget,” I get it. Maybe this next option works better for you.
Response #2: “I already have plans for my money.”
This response is great if you’re concerned that “budget” will be misunderstood as “broke.” Saying, “I can’t right now. I already have plans for my money,” gets your point across and makes it clear to the other person that 1) you do have money and 2) you’re being responsible by having a plan for it. It’s okay if other people’s ideas don’t fit in your plan right now. Maybe next time…
And hey, you never know. Using this response may even inspire the other person to think twice about if they’re spending wisely. I’ve had friends reply to me with things like, “I should probably have some kind of plan too.” #Normalizebudgeting. It’s the beginning of getting in control of your money. It’s the beginning of getting debt free. It’s the beginning of building up real wealth. Who doesn’t want all those things? But I digress…Let’s move on to the next response option.
Response #3: “I have other financial priorities right now.”
This response just sounds so mature, doesn’t it? This response is great because it’s hard for the other person to argue with you having priorities. Think about it. Your friend says, “We should go to this concert!” and you say, “That would be fun, but I have other financial priorities right now.” Chances are low that they’ll respond with, “Well, you need to prioritize this concert instead.”
In general, because the very nature of a priority is that it’s something important that you need to focus on, others are more likely to respect this response (even if they don’t like it). You’re not likely to face many “Well, just prioritize what I’m telling you to instead” rebuttals.
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But Wait...I Have a Disclaimer
It is important to have the confidence and words to say in order to avoid giving in to financial peer pressure. But I am, by no means, saying that you should always shut down every proposal your friends and family make if it’s going to cost you money. If the people who love you want to spend time with you, there might be times when you have to spend money. Or sometimes the people you love really might need a little help financially every now and then. I’m not saying you shut them down every time either.
In fact, good budgeting includes designating money for fun and giving. So, be sure to build that into your budget so that you’re able to say “yes” to some things without it violating your budget and throwing off the plan for your money.
women laughing spending quality time
Conclusion
Financial peer pressure is real. Situations can often occur where you feel pressured to spend money because of other people’s requests or influence. This is especially tough when you’re budgeting, and all you really want to do is respect your budget. So, it’s important to know how to handle financial peer pressure situations when they arise. Using the responses above can help you to navigate those situations and protect your budget in a way that others can respect.
Which of the 3 responses do you see yourself using to avoid financial peer pressure? Do you have another possible response? Share it in the comments!
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